Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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