Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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