dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
