I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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