i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
