time to smoke my breakfast
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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