We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
