sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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