Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
3 2 1 whiskey
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
