After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
