Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
