At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
