I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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