my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize