I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
