What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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