My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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