I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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