If that was your dad, he is hot
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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