I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize