I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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