There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
