it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize