NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
