If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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