Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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