So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
