I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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