There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
