i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
