If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
she smelled like a LAN party
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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