never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved