You work out of a Hotel?
North Korea, Best Korea!
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
