I heard we made out
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
