I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize