She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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