One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Little spoons don't ask big questions
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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