It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
