No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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