I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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