Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
