Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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