Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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