If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
