that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
