Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
