I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
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I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
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Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.