Having a random hookup so left but love u
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.