Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
