What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
