the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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