no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
