Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
