I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
