Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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