I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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