Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
