Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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