What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
That's intense
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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