Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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