I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
