We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
