member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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